Happy Valentine's Day, April. I know I've said those words many times over the years, but I think I mean it more this year. This year, celebrating Valentine's Day together seems like an achievement, or an accomplishment; certainly a privilege.
No one really has the slightest idea what our recent history has entailed. We've stretched that whole “In sickness and in health, and till death do us part” thing to its very limits haven't we?
Yet, here we stand on February 14, 2013, together as one despite all that life has thrown our way. Everyone says God has a sense of humor as if that is supposed to comfort us during our down times, but I swear, I don't get the joke. Regardless, I can still find it within myself to smile. Every day. Even when I feel too depressed to do it, I still do, and that is, more often than not because of you.
There is a certain strength you have always given me. To this day, I don't think anyone has looked at me quite the way you do. I'm not sure you totally “get me”, but I appreciate you trying, I really do. You've tried harder than anyone else and that means more to me than you could ever comprehend.
Our lives have changed so much since that first Valentine's Day we shared together at the skating rink in Griffin for your cousin's birthday party. While those days seem so innocent to look back upon now, I'm not sure they were necessarily better, for are we not stronger having shared all that we have since?
When I think about my life right now, the most remarkable aspect of it is just how much of a part of it you really are. There isn't much of anything I can do, watch, read, or listen to that doesn't remind me of you.
There is a large piece of my heart with your name carved in it, and you own a literal piece of my soul.
Nothing will ever change that. Not even sickness or death.
I love the fact that I can still get lost in your emerald green eyes. I love the fact that your smile can still brighten my day. You're the funniest girl I have ever known, and I love laughing with you.
I love the fact that a few days ago, you mourned the loss of Anna Nicole Smith, complete with a cake, on the anniversary of her death. I love the fact that you wrote me a message on our bathroom mirror this morning. I love the fact that for all my relating to Loki, you somehow see me as being more like Thor.
It's that … the way you see me, that has so moved me for as long as I've known you. You make me feel better than I am, and that's a really cool thing.
I'm lucky to have known you; not just because of Brady and Samantha. I think I drive that point home as often as I can. I'm lucky because you've made me better, and you've helped me find myself.
I love you.
Just like saying “Happy Valentine's Day”, those words can seem redundant and almost hollow. It's as if we're supposed to find other ways to express it, or to say it around this time of the year to prove how romantic or how poetic we are, but at the end of the day, I think those three words are still the most powerful and have the most meaning.
I love you.
People have died for those three words. People have killed for them. People have fought for them. People have lived for them. Those three words have made people dance, and they've made people cry.
Those three words keep us sane and make us crazy all at the same time. They make us weak and strong, scared and brave, noble ... and even a bit wicked.
I love you.
I'm happy that you're my Valentine. I'm happy we're still together.
I love you, April.
Happy Valentine's Day!